2025 began in the sweetest, busiest way. The boys had just turned one, and that was such a fun age. I talked my hubby into trying for one more baby. I know, I know—I sound crazy already having twin one-year-olds—but I always dreamed of having a huge family. In February, we found out we were pregnant, the caboose to the Johnson family.
The business we launched the previous year was booming, the boys were learning so many new things, I had an easy pregnancy, and life felt full in the best ways. Some of my favorite memories throughout the year were my mom staying the night with us once a week to keep the boys. There was so much grace in that season. The help she provided seemed so normal at the time, but looking back, it was the biggest gift.
In June, we took an incredible trip to the Bahamas with our family, including my mom. It was the last trip we would take with her, though we didn’t know it then. And oh, was it a good one! Traveling was one of her favorite things, especially if it involved her family and a beach. I promised her I’d keep that tradition alive. Sorry, hubby 😆
September came, and honestly… it’s a blur. Mom had been sick, but things escalated in what felt like overnight. For eight years, she fought cancer with a quiet strength. Through it all, she protected me more than anyone from how bad things really were. I don’t think it was because she thought I couldn’t handle it, but because she was a mama shielding her baby girl from seeing her sick. That kind of love is something I carry with me as a mom. She was the fiercest mama bear 🥹 We lost my mom at the end of September.
October became about survival. I was eight months pregnant, raising two toddlers, working, and learning how to exist in a world without my mom. Most nights, I came home from work, crawled into bed, cried, slept, and did it all over again the next day. My husband earned five stars that month, holding our home, our boys, and me together when I couldn’t do it myself.
At the end of October, our precious baby girl arrived early. And while grief, anger, and heartache didn’t disappear, they slowly began to soften. She was perfect, sent straight from Heaven, and somehow brought light into the darkest season of my life. She reminded me that joy and sadness can coexist. She was exactly what we needed, exactly when we needed her.
As December comes to an end, I’m still in the trenches of grief, navigating postpartum, and missing my mom every single day. But there are also loud giggles throughout our house, tiny hands reaching for mine, and so much grace meeting me where I am.
2025 was the hardest year of my life. It broke me in ways I never expected, but it also healed parts of me I desperately needed. I’m ending it with a grateful heart, even as I come to terms with the reality that this was the last year I had my mom here on earth. I know she’s walking with me into 2026, just in a different way.
grace, grit & giggles 
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